Monday, January 11, 2010

Reach For The Stars!

If today is your birthday: Congratulations! You're one step closer to the grave!
Capricorn: Your stubbornness will pay off today so go out an audition for that lousy part in that crappy movie.

Aquarius: Get me a drink.

Pisces: Fire up the douche bag...your pussy stinks.

Aries: Shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down today!

Taurus: Send a hate letter to someone you love....mix it up a bit.

Gemini: I can't even deal with you two today.

Cancer: Fine tune your nasty attitude by farting in a full elevator.

Leo: See Aquarius

Virgo: Get laid today!

Libra: Enough already! Make up your mind.

Scorpio: Show off that new hairdo by setting it on fire.

Sagittarius: Shoot that poison arrow in my heart, heart, heart....

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