Thursday, September 16, 2010

Pretty Women

Bye Bye Miss American Style

The Liberace Museum in Las Vegas will close it's doors next month after decades of showcasing the elaborate threads, jewelry, cars, pianos and candelabras of the man known as "Mr. Showmanship". The extravagant pianist, who died of AIDS in 1987, was one of the highest paid entertainers in the world at one time. The question now on every faggots lips is, "Girl, what are they gonna do with all of that queen's shit?"Today's gay hipster doofus20 somethings are more than likely unaware that Liberace paved the way for glitter, glamour and razzle dazzle as well as pioneering the outrages stage costume long before the likes of Lady Gag Gag and her meat dress. He was making entrances on stage in 20ft. long white fox fur coats lined in 400,000 crystals and solid rhinestone studded Rolls Royces. Even Cher pales in comparison when it comes to costume changes. Lee as he was known in my social group made 6 or 7 outfit changes during a single dinner party. Many of these ensembles, along with his home furnishing that make Buckingham Palace look like skid row will undoubtably go on the auction block. If you are in the market for a solid mosaic mirror tiled Steinway or a rainbow satin and rhinestone smoking jacket this could be a golden opportunity. Maybe Ga Ga could pick up a few pointers on trash with class from Mr. Showmanship and I can pick up a few solid gold dildos and rhinestone studded enema bags.

In These Shoes?

Good News! Nicole Kidman Can Still Move Her Face

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fashion Weak.

I truly love fashion. Some of my best moments on stage were created by the costume designer....well them or the bottle of scotch I keep in my wooden leg. Clothes do make the woman and the man and I take advantage of every moment I get to spend with a designer. I am great friends with many of the greats....Pucci, Halston, Lillian Vernon......All special and talented in their particular styles. Pucci loves color, Courreges loves line, and Halston loves black dick. I personally am partial to Oscar de la Hoya. His cuts really flatter the female form and yet still evoke a feeling of shear boredom which is so important in the entertainment field.

Call me old fashion Dearest Reader but after sitting front row at many of the shows during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week here in NYC, I couldn't help thinking.....would anyone notice if I vomited into my Hermes' bag? Don't get me wrong. I love forward fashion as much as the next modern gal but let's face it, this  is why retailers are selling sweaters 10 for a dollar. I wouldn't give you 10 cents for this crap. Wouldn't you love to be a part of the international set and arrive in Canne wearing a diaper, some hazard tape, a jump rope and blood splattered wedgies?Or maybe your man comes to pick you up for a night on the town wearing a jock strap, garters, a bathrobe and a 17th century neck tie.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Still Dead...

Actor Anthony Perkins. Perkins died at age 60, on September 12, 1992, from complications of AIDS. He was cremated, and his ashes were given to his family.
His widow, Berry Berenson, was killed on American Airlines Flight 11 during the September 11 attacks in 2001, one day before the ninth anniversary of his death.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Joan Crawford In 1964's Della [Part 7 of 7]

Heaven b(part 2)


The Three Degrees - Maybe

Mosque Pitt

Are Brad and Angie terrorists?
It seems they took their Shaada( conversion to islam) yesterday in Namibia is this true. I also heard Indian American astronaut Sunita Williams converted to Islam. Michael Jackson also plans to do it. Dave chappele also converted to Islam. Is it true 30,000 American women convert to Islam each year. Why is everyone converting to Islam ?

I'm Back And I Still Smell Bad.

From The Desk Of Helen Lawson.

Dearest Readers,
   Please excuse my absence but I was doing my nails. I had no idea how much time had passed. One minute I was filing my pinky and the next thing I knew it, 7 months had gone by. My how time flies when there are toxic fumes in the air.
   When last we spoke I was beginning a new show based on the life of Abraham Lincoln's first wife, Tunella entitled, "Wood Choppin' Woman". Understandably it opened to mixed reviews and closed after 1 performance (and that was for an audience of mentally retarded children).  With musical numbers like, "Illinois Is My Kinda' Noise" and " Log Cabin Lullaby" it was destined to be a flop. My co-star, Jim J. Bullock as Honest Abe, brought a new light to Mr. Lincoln. Flouncy and foppish, his mincing around the stage and lisping delivery really sent home the message that Abe was all man. Also kudos went to Dr. Joyce Brothers magnificent libretto and the music of Shields and Yarnell. Costumes by the talented Mr. Phyllis and a set by PS 151 topped off the roster of talent. So sad that all of that hard work went down the shitter.
   Well Reader, I must scoot off to rehearsal for my NEW show "Feelin' It!" A musical cavalcade of songs and dance numbers that are sure to wow the crowd as well as the critics. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for being patient and I promise to forget about this in the morning.

Sincerely, Helen Lawson