Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm Back And I Still Smell Bad.

From The Desk Of Helen Lawson.

Dearest Readers,
   Please excuse my absence but I was doing my nails. I had no idea how much time had passed. One minute I was filing my pinky and the next thing I knew it, 7 months had gone by. My how time flies when there are toxic fumes in the air.
   When last we spoke I was beginning a new show based on the life of Abraham Lincoln's first wife, Tunella entitled, "Wood Choppin' Woman". Understandably it opened to mixed reviews and closed after 1 performance (and that was for an audience of mentally retarded children).  With musical numbers like, "Illinois Is My Kinda' Noise" and " Log Cabin Lullaby" it was destined to be a flop. My co-star, Jim J. Bullock as Honest Abe, brought a new light to Mr. Lincoln. Flouncy and foppish, his mincing around the stage and lisping delivery really sent home the message that Abe was all man. Also kudos went to Dr. Joyce Brothers magnificent libretto and the music of Shields and Yarnell. Costumes by the talented Mr. Phyllis and a set by PS 151 topped off the roster of talent. So sad that all of that hard work went down the shitter.
   Well Reader, I must scoot off to rehearsal for my NEW show "Feelin' It!" A musical cavalcade of songs and dance numbers that are sure to wow the crowd as well as the critics. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for being patient and I promise to forget about this in the morning.

Sincerely, Helen Lawson

1 comment:

LCM said...

"Feelin' It" will be the smash hit of the season, Helen - I'm telling everybody, including that bitch from the Post.