My Burning Questions....

Dearest Readers,
I know that many of you are curious about my past and that's understandable. I am a complex woman with a complex life and a history that would make even the straightest of men's assholes pucker with delight. I've taken a few hits, made a few errors, even scored some home runs. I've laid a few bricks and I've burned a few bridges but I always come out on top. But the biggest mystery seems to be my litany of husbands. I've married for love and I've married for "like". Some were famous and some were famous for being my husband. But all of them were extraordinary lovers...or at least were after I got through with them. Ladies, the next time your lover takes a shit on your tits and then writes his name in it, you can thank me. I taught a lot of men a lot of moves and the world is a happier place because of it.
   My first husband could be described as a man's man. Not the best lookin' guy on the block, a bit short and lacking in the hair department. We met at a screening in Hollywood of my first film, " Dragon Woman". His was the feature before mine and they were leaving as we were entering the small studio theater. I'm not sure what it was but when we locked eyes there was an energy that was palpable even to the execs. around us. Someone said as we passed, "Wow..did you feel the chemistry between those two?" I asked around and was told that he was part of Warner's new comedy duo and was quite the ladies man. My agent set up a dinner and we met officially. He was even hotter than I remembered and reeked of sex, masculine, sweaty, bone numbing, cum soaked sex. Within minutes we were entwined under the table and fucking and frolicking like young rabbits. We met every night at that same restaurant for 3 weeks until they asked us not to come back. 6 months later he proposed and we set a date. I planned a glorious wedding with many friends and family in attendance and even though I found most of his family one dimensional and off color, we managed and had a great marriage for a year until I found out of his many affairs and extracurricular activities. We divorced and went our separate ways. Ocassionally, I will see him on saturday mornings in the park but we don't speak. I am no longer Mrs. Elmer Fudd.