Helen Lawson's Litter Box

...because you can cover it up but it still stinks.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Half Naked Crazy Lady Spotted Standing On Top Of Payphone - CrapVille

Half Naked Crazy Lady Spotted Standing On Top Of Payphone - CrapVille
Posted by Helen Lawson at 6:49 AM

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See Dick Stoned.

See Dick Stoned.

If Only.

If Only.

In Memoriam.

In Memoriam.
I would like to take this time to remember my friend, Bessie Mae Chocha who lost her life while working the morning shift outside of Tower # 2 on 9/11. She unfortunately passed out after a particularly strenuous hand job.

Grandma's Hands

Grandma's Hands

Falcon Crust

Falcon Crust
Dead on this day....Jane Wayman at 93. If you look closely you can see the strings and wires used to manipulate her.

My New Bathroom Wallpaper

My New Bathroom Wallpaper

Followers

Crucifixions Are Always Fun At Parties

Crucifixions Are Always Fun At Parties

She's Got Legs...She Knows How To Use Them

She's Got Legs...She Knows How To Use Them

Let's Eat Out Tonight!

Let's Eat Out Tonight!

From Here To Eternity

From Here To Eternity

Stump On A Stump

Stump On A Stump

Dog Do

Dog Do

Eeeek.

Eeeek.

There's Gotta Be Somethin' Better Than Death...

There's Gotta Be Somethin' Better Than Death...
Happy birthday to Broadway legend Chita Rivera. Rivera won acclaim as " the third girl from the left" at The Last Supper. Miss Rivera is 4,077 years old today.

Still Dead....

Still Dead....
Actress, singer and dancer Ann Miller died 6 years ago today at the age of 80 of cancer. Miller was best known for being an insensitive bitch.

This Old Witch.....

This Old Witch.....
..needs a house to drop on her.



Still Dead...

Still Dead...
Actor Richard Crenna from the "Our Miss Brooks" television series died 7 years ago of cancer at the age of 76.

Throw Another Tranny Baby On The Grill, Dear

Throw Another Tranny Baby On The Grill, Dear

Easy Like Sunday Mornin'

Easy Like Sunday Mornin'

About Me

My photo
Helen Lawson
Legend.
View my complete profile

Still Dead....

Still Dead....
Actor Ted Cassidy who played Lurch on the 60's television show,"The Addams Family", died on this date 31 years ago of surgical complications.

Phoebe Tyler Wallingford: DEAD!

Phoebe Tyler Wallingford: DEAD!
Actress Ruth Warrick, best known for her roles on the soap "All My Children", "Peyton Place", and "Citizen Kane", died on this date 5 years ago of pneumonia. The old gal was married 5 times and had a vagina the size of the Lincoln Tunnel.

I"It's A Wonderful Death"

I"It's A Wonderful Death"
Actress Donna Reed died 24 years today of cancer at the age of 64. She was also known for her trademark pearl necklace.

Still Dead!

Still Dead!
Actress and notorious shit kicker Shelly Winters died 4 years ago from heart failure at the age of 85. She was a good friend and a good lay.

What Is Helens favorite cocktail?


What perfume does Helen wear?

What was your favorite Helen Lawson production?

Swim Manny, Swim !

Swim Manny, Swim !

Backstage Looks At The New Marc Jacobs Show.

Backstage Looks At The New Marc Jacobs Show.

4 Balls...Corner Pocket.

4 Balls...Corner Pocket.

Tell Your Friends.....

Tell Your Friends.....
...see my tits!

It's The Sugar Daddy Ken Doll.

It's The Sugar Daddy Ken Doll.

" I'm Ann Blyth for Hostess Fish Cakes"

" I'm Ann Blyth for Hostess Fish Cakes"

Sing Out, Louise!

Sing Out, Louise!

Happy 1968!!!!!!

Happy 1968!!!!!!

What's Going On Here?

What's Going On Here?

New Do? New You!

New Do? New You!
Get a sassy new style to start out the New Year!

...before turning gun on self.

...before turning gun on self.

LIke Butter.......

LIke Butter.......
...like a big block of butter at the State Fair.

I Waited 6 Years For This?

I Waited 6 Years For This?
My Hermes Merkin Bag.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand....

I Wanna Hold Your Hand....
...if you had one..or any.

Where Are They Now?

Where Are They Now?
Actress Glenn Close and her former costar, Jeremy Irons both underwent extensive cosmetic surgery befor steppin in front of the cameras to shoot the sequel to their film, Reversal Of Fortune. The new film entitled, " The Sun Will Wake Up Tomorrow" deals with those wacky socialites after Sunny V.B. wakes up to find that her husband Claus has invented a mechanical wife to replace her.

The Force 4 Ever!

The Force 4 Ever!

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Love Thine Enema

Love Thine Enema


I Don't Know Art, But I Know What I Like...

I Don't Know Art, But I Know What I Like...

Land-O-Latex

  • Latex Prison

Divine Intervention

  • Divine Intervention


Merry X-Mas......Joan Collins

Merry X-Mas......Joan Collins

Stocking Stuffer, Anyone?

Stocking Stuffer, Anyone?

Holiday Do's And Dont's

Holiday Do's And Dont's

How The Grober Stole Christmas!

How The Grober Stole Christmas!

Little Cindy Jew Who

Little Cindy Jew Who

Trina.

Trina.
If you go to Billy's Bounce-N- Brew, ask for Trina.

Pussy Clown?

Pussy Clown?

Flower Dump Song

Flower Dump Song

Die Puppe aus Papier

Die Puppe aus Papier
When I was a little girl I loved to play with paper dolls. This would have been in my collection.



Crack That Ass!

Crack That Ass!
Smack it good and get all my gooey candy.

Clit Switch

Clit Switch
If only, right ladies?

Whore Of The Week

Whore Of The Week
This is Brenda. She's the one that always saves the Christmas bows. Now we know what she did with them.

Go Granny, GO!

Go Granny, GO!
Hey fellas. There's nothin' sexier than a one hundred year old stripper , is there?

Have Yourself A Merry Little Holocaust....

Have Yourself A Merry Little Holocaust....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like a set of Hitlers balls.

Why is this woman wearing a swimsuit?

Why is this woman wearing a swimsuit?
Won't she look great on the bottom of the pool?

Blog Archive

  • ▼  2009 (77)
    • ▼  December (77)
      • I'm Helen Lawson and this is my world. Sometimes i...
      • From The Desk Of Helen Lawson's Wig.......
      • Dear Santa.......
      • From The Desk Of Helen Lawson.....
      • Abner! Abner! There's A Dick In My Mouth!
      • Happy Hell-a-days, Mother Fucker!
      • Sunday...Bloody Sunday
      • No title
      • No title
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Children Should Be Eaten, Not Heard.
      • Hello, Doctor, I'm Helen Lawford...
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Pussyfoot.
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Gay For Play
      • Amish Love
      • "Hey Spook, My Name's Trina."
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Sex Ed. 101
      • Merry XXX-Mas
      • Our Foreplay Fathers.....
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Worlds Largest Dreidle And The Worlds Largest Lego...
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Kiss My Summer Sausage!
      • I'm Not Sure I Know What I Saw Daddy Doing To Sant...
      • Happy Sunday Night, Boys!
      • Creepy Christmas
      • The Crapper
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • No title
      • Hot Pockets!
      • No title
      • " Are you my Mommy?"
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • From The Makers Of Tiny Elvis Comes.......
      • Spouse Beats Hubby With Toilet Seat
      • " What, am I funny...like a funny Savior? Funny, l...
      • You Sexy Thong
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • No title
      • "Worlds Greatest Dad"
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Fashion Faux Pas
      • Porta-pity
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Trim That Trim
      • For The Gal On The Go!
      • We Are Family.......
      • Half Naked Crazy Lady Spotted Standing On Top Of P...
      • No title
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Jackie Stallone's STAR SCOPE
      • Go Granny Go!
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Death By Sofa
      • What's Going On Here?
      • "Operator, Get Me Cheeses On The Line"
      • No title
      • Don't Eat Meat, Wear It!
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • "What Child Be 'Dis ?"
      • The Deep Dish Rapture
      • No title
      • A Letter From Buffy.
      • Mommy's Little Whore
      • No title
      • "Ain't No Virgil Here!"
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • Beauty Beauty Look At You
      • Helen's Hit Pick Of The Day!
      • I Love Long Walks On The Beach....
      • Home Is Where Your Fart Is.....
      • Swim Into A New Year....
  • ►  2010 (112)
    • ►  January (98)
    • ►  February (1)
    • ►  September (12)
    • ►  November (1)

...and that's me, remember?

New Madonna Photos!

New Madonna Photos!

"Is my hair dead yet?"

"Is my hair dead yet?"

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